Volume 2, Number 2, January 8, 2002 
                 
                 
                
                
       From The Editor:

 

Today is a very special day for a very special lady on AIH. Florence a.k.a. Flogo is celebrating her 80th

birthday. Throughout this week's Arrow you will see messages from those who have known Flo for years and others

who have met her on AIH. Florence, we wanted to do some little thing to permanently commemorate your status on AIH

so I've created an avatar for you and you are being given the privilege of having your own personal avatar. A bit of advice f

or you all - listen to what Flo writes here....if you're anything like me you're going to learn something. She's a wise lady. 

While you're at it, don't skip over Persh's Bio - it's a fascinating read! So, without further ado, I shall turn the rest of

'From The Editor'  over to Flo...

  Looking Forward, by Flogo

On this, my 80th birthday, I refuse to look back except to recall the wondrous things that have happened in my

lifetime. Some of these things are: Swift travel advancing from old touring cars to automatic everything vehicles;

jet planes; men walking on the surface of the moon; a space station occupied by representatives of several nations;

the medical profession's ability to "see" inside our blood vessels, internal organs, eyes and then repair the same;

instant communication around the world and out into space by just tapping on keys and touching "send".  These are just

a few of the big things that have happened.  It would take pages to list everything, wouldn't it?

So now I look forward.  Not to another 80 years, but certainly for at least 5 or 10 or maybe a smidgen more.  Keeping

my mind and body active and in reasonably good health are foremost goals now.  What will transpire in this big world we

all live in? What mind-boggling scientific or medical breakthroughs will occur? I want to be around to read and hear about

these things.

And I want to be around and remain a member of AIH.  This site is so important to me.  It's a place where I can go,

morning, noon or night (oh, those many late nights I've spent here) and meet all of the great people who, like me, find

it a friendly and caring site.  And very informative, too.

I'm so grateful to Dilbert, god, Amy, Deb, all of you super people who keep this place open so I can enjoy another day

of companionship and friendship.

Love and big HUG to all of you,
Flogo

(Florence Smith)

This week's Dilbert's Corner is dedicated to a wonderful, caring, and funny person. Flogo. She has been a long time

friend and someone who has made me laugh countless times. I love her dearly and value her wisdom and friendship.

We are indeed lucky to have her as an integral part of our community. If there are young people out there that are looking

for a role model to emulate as you go through life, you could find no better person than Flogo. She has fun with life,  never

takes things too seriously, and is willing to state her opinion in a succinct and focused manner. For those with big heads

she has a pin to deflate them. For those that are put upon, she is there to shield them. For those that need a hand, she is

there with a hand and a warm heart. I can't tell you the number of times that god and I have sat here at our computers laughing

like schoolkids at something she has said. We are honored to have spent part of your 80 years with us. We only wish that we

had known you earlier.

 

 

"Flo, you say you are older than dirt, but to me, sweet lady, you are like the sun in the sky. When I see your name or

look at your picture, it makes my day all sunny and bright." LANA9

 

 

 

"Happy Birthday Flo! You have always been a kind and cheerful presence here and I've really enjoyed your questions and

answers. Your positivity and sense of humour are wonderful assets to the site. We are lucky to have you :) May all your

birthday wishes come true." Jen ...JC

 

"I met Flo shortly after coming to AIH, and what started as a short reply to one of my questions, has grown into a wonderful friendship. Flo is just a warm, dynamic human being and we are very blessed to have her here at AIH. I wish Flo a wonderful 80th birthday filled with the love of family and friends."  Sue

                            

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FLOGO!!!
80 wonderful years!  Thanks for all your great help and wonderful humor!
Go, Flo, Go!!!"  MSaligned

"I do not know Flogo all that well, but I do know that she is one of the sweetest people around here. She is always positive and ready to look on the bright side of things. Ever-ready with inspirational words of wisdom, her go-get-em attitude is very comforting. AIH just would not be the same without this amazing woman."  Queenceline

         

"Florence, when we first met on Knowpost, I instantly knew that you were a special lady. We shared many things of our lives with one another and you touched 'my' life in so many ways. I wish for you: days filled with sunshine and love to warm your heart and spirit, and blessings of good health to comfort your body.  I bring these birthday wishes to you with love from my heart as you so generously have shared yours with me. Happy Birthday! and Bright Blessings to you! Love and Hugs,"  Lisa aka Babytisa aka OceansMagick. 

 

Hello, everyone.  I'm Florence aka Flogo. a retired person living in Central California.  I'm an octogenarian now and

extremely happy that I'm passing that milestone and still able to get around and stir up trouble but only in small doses,

you understand. I have a large family with 3 sons, i daughter, 5 grands and 4 3/4 greats.  One dog, a mixed up dachshund

named Lucky and I'm addicted to AIH. I've been here since shortly after AIH was founded. I'm looking for the 12 step

program to combat this addiction.

I have a few names that have been bestowed on me by friends (?) i.e. Sweet Flossie Farmer (oh, yeah, sweet, sure),

Bawdy Old Broad (That's more like it!), and Hey You! the last one hollered at me by my elderly forgetful friends.
I don't have any particular hobbies - but I've always enjoyed reading and I like novels with lots of action such as mysteries,

sea stories, courtroom dramas, spy stories - just about anything exciting and 'can't put that book down' type of tales. 

Due to some vision problems I have lately indulged in Audio books and find them perfect for me at this time.

Am I an extrovert or introvert and would others agree with my own assessment?  Everything about me is Exro -

I'm outgoing, friendly, brash but caring and I'm a bit wicked, at times. You know the old saying about never let your

left hand know what your right hand, etc.?  Well, being a leftie, I always know what my right hand is doing and  man, that

can get you in trouble sometimes. 

What would I name my official biography? My Way or the Highway, Bub!

If a fellow AIHer were to meet me face to face what do I think would be their initial mental impression of me? 

"Ye Gods, she IS old and gray!  And short, too."

Where do I go for some peace and quiet?  Honey, at this age almost everywhere is peaceful and quiet anymore.  I guess

my little apartment is my haven and I am so comfortable here.

Do I have a lifelong best friend?  Yes, but I moved away from my home of 50 some years so I don't see her very often. 

However, I have made so many new friends in the past 5 years that I can't dwell on the past much.  But I do miss her.

My all-time favorite movie, book, song, etc?  Oh, dear, if I were to dredge up some of those favorites from the past,

90 per cent of your readers' eyes would glaze over and complete disinterest would reign.  May I mention Glen Miller's

orchestra, Jo Stafford's singing, Gene Kelly, - see - how soon they forget.

Do I live near a famous place or landmark?  I guess the only claim to fame that Bakersfield might have is that Buck Owens

and Merle Haggard came from around here.  Oh, and I also lived in the same town where "The Voyager' was built and first

flew.  Remember? That was the plane that flew non-stop, unrefueled around the world back in the late 80's or early 90's. 

The hangar was open and had a viewing platform so we were able to watch its progress for many months.That odd-looking

plane is now in the Air and Space Museum in D. C.

What comes to mind when you hear someone say, "Let's go camping."  Only if we can go in your motorhome and have hot

and cold running water and indoor plumbing.

Can I think of any book that has influenced my life?  No.  Except maybe the very first book I could read back when I was

6 or 7, can't possibly remember the title but it opened the entire world of books and reading to me and I have never

stopped appreciating the written word since then.

Cell phones - necessity or annoyance?  I'm not exposed to them much but they are probably a necessity for some but a

definite annoyance when users let them monopolize their lives and the users then forget the normal manners of social interaction.  Hey, fellas, turn off those ringers now and then.

Do I have any heroes?  No, not anyone in particular.  True heroes, to me, are those who live their lives as good citizens,

doing their very best every day.  I know that's a platitude but a person doesn't have to be glorified to be a hero to a

little kid, or a loving spouse.

A pet peeve?  Misspelled words.  But I have learned to 'live and let live' and not let my BP skyrocket over such a simple

thing as this.

In what way(s) has the internet impacted your life?  I have to admit that I know absolutely nothing about the internet. 

I can turn the puter on and off, have my favorite sites, occasionally look up some particular subject using a search engine.  Other than the above I am the proverbial "duh" person.   But I would find it extremely difficult to get along without my computer as it is always here, always ready and always satisfying.  Hey!!! That IS my computer I'm alluding to.

What's my favorite sandwich?  I love a good Reuben made with corned beef.  Recently I was served one made with

TURKEY and darn it, it tasted just fine and I won't hesitate to have another.

A childhood nickname? Well, I can't say in polite company what my brothers used to call me.  Boys!  So rude and crude.

When I look in a mirror what do I see?  I'm so used to this face that it doesn't hardly register anymore.  I do have lots

of laugh lines (not wrinkles, you know) and I hope others feel the same way about those crinkly lines.

Would I volunteer to fight for my country - I don't think I would be of much use in a fighting arena.  I'd certainly want

to help in any way I could, though.

And that's the saga of Flogo.  I'm a widow, and definitely NOT looking (hehe) and I do enjoy playing "Spite and Malice" ( a card game) and any word games I can find.  I think Mexican food is absolutely the tops and my town has some great restaurants.

I'm usually easy to get along with, but don't mess with my dog or my family.  I have deadly aim with water balloons and paint balls!!!! 

 

I live South of Durham, a bed room community of Chico, about 2 hours North of the home of our Worthy Masters, the

Maggots in Sacramento, the capital of The Peeapplesses Free Demokratik Republik of Kalifornia. I'm semi-retired

(mostly from Computers. I stated at Stanford, in 1966 where we had a Federal contract to mate the world's largest digital

[your wristwatch with numbers on it] computer, to the world's largest analog [your grandmothers wristwatch, with the hands

on it] computer, and making a (third) computer with them.  The team I was on was trying to display that information on a CRT [monitor.]  Today, you can buy, at a K-Mart Blue Light Special, something that is one billion times faster, smaller, and cheaper

[only $7.77, plus tax!]  And so life goes . . .
I take care of 23 acres of English Walnuts, and Almonds.  Chopping weeds with a tractor, moving sprinkler pipe, harvest,

dragging (weeds and to make it smooth.)  I also have a small machine shop in the back, and turn rail road parts
for speeders - http://pw1.netcom.com/~wparsons/mccloud3.html  I also take CNC classes at Butt Tech, and, occasionally,

teach at Chico State.  At times, I've been known to configure computers, alto that skill is becoming, like most things I do,

obsolete. Never married.  No kids, and, surprise, surprise, no grandkids.  No immediate family. No pets, tho' I've had both

cats and dogs. My hobbies seem to be collecting old American iron (machine tools, viz., I've a couple of Southbend lathes, a Bridgeport mill, and other machine shop tools in the shop,) metallurgy, (mostly the tin, antimony, lead tri-angle) casting
thousands and thousands of bullets each month, target shooting and helping out local law enforcement.

Are you an extrovert or an introvert? Would others agree with your assessment of yourself? I've always been referred

to as a PRE-vert.  Don't know about those "Extra"-verts, or "Intra"-vert stuff.  Whadda ya' think?  I'm no weird-o!

What would be the title of your official biography? Case Closed.  Burn him, and it.

What is your all-time favorite movie, book, song, music group, author or actor?
Movie - Terminator
Book - Sun Tzu's The Art of War.
Song -  Bee Gees Only Fools Believe.
Music Group - Chamber Orchestra, me on the viola, playing Mozart, or Beethoven, or Bach, or . . . well . . . keep going . . .
Author - David Drake Hammer's Slammer's.
Authoress -   Madelaine l'Engle, cousin, once removed.
Actor -  Sean Connery, Third cousin, once removed.
Artist -  Painting, sculpting, etc.  My Maternal Grandfather - http://askart.com/artist/L/william_johnson_l'engle.asp?ID=25039
My Grandmother - http://askart.com/theartist.asp?id=119717
And last, and least of all, my Aunt - http://askart.com/theartist.asp?id=113060
Philosopher - Arturo Schopenhauer
Musical Instrument - War War I Bagpipes in the Trenches, or my viola.

If a fellow AIHer were to meet you face-to-face for the first time, what do you think would be their initial mental impression

of you? Not this guy.  Must be somebody else.  Hey!  You!  Outta' the way

 

Where do you go if you want some peace and quiet? Anywhere I want.  I carry, concealed, legally, a Colt .45.  I shoot

"Expert Class."  Favorite hidey holes?  If I told you, then they wouldn't be a secret anymore, would they?

Do you have a life-long best friend? Nope.  Navy Brat.  Moved every 18 months.  I was 8 before I discovered civilians, and

13 when I was escorted off-base.

Do you live near an internationally famous landmark or monument? The Bidwell House, in Chico. Chico Park. Third largest municipally owned park in the world, Oroville Dam.  Once the worlds largest earth-filled dam.  Highest in US. Mt. Lassen,

Mt. Shasta and Lake Tahoe.

What instantly comes to mind when you hear someone say, "Let's go camping!"? Where'd I leave my gold-mining pan? 

And my cook-stove?  I'll need to carry some matches . . .

Can you think of a book that has directly influenced your life?
Machiavelli's The Prince;
Sun Tzu's The Art of War (I prefer the English 1910 ver., myself, or the 1944 ver.,);
Quotations from Chairman Mao Tse Tung;
Clausewitz' Vom Krieg (On War) (Seldom read, often quoted.  I've re-read it SO many times . . .);
Muyamoto Musashi's A Book of Five Rings and Leadership Secrets of Attila the Hun, Micky Spillane's favorite technique of

dealing with people.   Hey!  It works!

In what ways has the Internet impacted your life? Immeasurably.

Do you have any heroes? Not that I'm aware of.  Well . . . maybe the dil-type d00d.  (Dilbert)  Did you hear what he did with

a can opener, and his teeth?

Have you ever taken a trip alone? Huh?  Of course.  All the time.  Maybe the question you'd want to ask is . . . What's the

longest time you spent in the Hospital, having driven yourself there, and back.  Answer - 16 days.   Now THAT is alone!

Do you have a particular pet peeve? Yeah.  People shooting at me.  It's my #1 pet peeve.  Next?  Having people try
to knife me.

What is your favorite sandwich? Cold tongue (beef) right out of the 'fridge.  And a glass of buttermilk.

Do you have a childhood nickname that has followed you through adulthood? You'll never know.  H*ll.  I was born back

East just after the (Second World) War.

When you look in a mirror, what do you see? Some ol' guy that must have snuck into the bathroom behind me.  Get

outta' my way.  I can't see myself.

If you were asked to volunteer to fight for your country, would you? Of course. Don't think they'd take me. My interests are

a bit too, ah . . .singular to be Politically Correct.

 

Flogo... "Happy Birthday on this here milestone day for you. May peace and happiness be your gifts this day with many more to come."  Silverback (Ed)

                                         "Because I do love you all so and that’s not the lithium and strawberry pie filling in a can talking."

kickaha
Dear Uncle Millard,
I want to bet my next paycheck that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers will go to the Super Bowl. My best friend's bookie says

that is OK but he wants to see the money up front. My best friend says that his bookie is concerned because I already owe

him lots of money from betting on the Bucs this season. He said that he will give me 10:1 odds! Almost enough to pay off my

old gambling debts and a little bit of the interest I owe. My friend agrees with me that this is to way to go. My wife is being unreasonable and says no, I can't do it. How can I get her to see the logic in my plan (and get her to give me the new pin for t

he ATM)? I don't want to go to the Payday Loan store unless I have absolutely no recourse. I've been told that those people are ruthless.
Thank you,
Trusting in Tampa

Dear Kickaha,
Please explain to your wife the wonders of Dunn, Sapp, and Dungy as a coach. Tell her the Bucs always start slow in the

season, barely make it to the playoffs, and well okay then they usually blow it. But next week we’re going to Phillie and we’re

going to trounce them. Okay this seems far-fetched due to recent events. But trusting in the Bucs is like trusting in America. And

if she doesn’t believe in what is the greatest team in the NFL, a team full of honest hard working Americans, she doesn’t believe

in America. Tell her how upset you are with her lack of patriotism and she can make it up to you by giving you $500 to bet on the Bucs and 17 cases of Budweiser.


SamHill
Dear Uncle Millard: thank you so much for your previous advice, the Haldol eased my worries, the eggs restored my regularity

and the Jack Daniel's put the bounce back in my step. While at the train station I met a young lady and we became friends, she l

ikes me a lot but in a platonic way and I like her a lot in a let's-get-naked-and-party-for-days kinda way. Any more suggestions

Dear Sam Hill,
Wooing the ladies is a gentle art. Women like to be swept off their feet. Be bold. If you want them naked, try taking your clothes

off first. Try crying as looking pathetic so she’ll feel bad for you. Tell her you’re a 38 year old virgin. Sit on her doorstep for days so she knows you’re not afraid of commitment.

 

Dear Uncle Millard, Drinking alcohol seems to solve most of my problems, but what about the problems that can't be solved by violence or booze? When should you violently pummel your heirs? It's a sticky wicket, I acknowledge, but sometimes a nephew needs to be beaten into oblivion. I assume you will tell me not to pummel him into a coma, but I do need to hear guidelines about beatings.
Yours,
Camilla Parker-Bowles Windsor

Dear Ms Parker-Bowels Wimblebimble,
I assure you that all problems not solved by alcohol can be easily cured by the ingestion of three bottles of white-out, a

jar of marmite and two gallons of highlighter fluid. From my experience you will then spend several days under the sincere impression you are a jellyfish, leading to a complete suspension of all worries and the necessity for beatings.

From: mkmkm
Oh, Uncle Millard, Tell me how to stop eating all the chocolate I can find in one or two sittings? I just can't do one or two

pieces a day. I have to eat it till it's gone! Now I have to go back to "counting points" (Weight Watchers) because I gained

6 lbs. in 2 months!

Dear mkmkm,
I like my women squishy. I strongly recommend you eat fourteen kilos of Hershey Bars and get on the next train to Alabama.

I will be waiting. Stay away from those heathen WeightWatchers, they're like AlcAnon for non-drinkers and I declare them the

spawn of the devil.


From JC: Okay, I know I ask you about a lot of banana-related problems but this is a serious issue for me. I recently won the

award for Most Frenetic Attempt to Educate the World about Banana Safety Awareness. Only 16 people came to the award

ceremony and most of them were my friends from the Lamppost Appreciation Society and the Nude Synchronized Oregami

team. Now as an expert in the ancient Bulgarian Banana Fighting Arts, I know the dangers of mishandled bananas and I've done

my best to educate people on this serious issue. I've researched the statistics--1000's of brutal pokings occur every year due to mishandled bananas. It could happen to anyone. Make no mistake--a banana in the wrong hands is a deadly weapon. How can I make people understand the seriousness of this issue? Has the world become so jaded and cynical though the anaesthetization

of mass media that they can be so cavalier about the dangers posed by mishandled bananas? Why must I always be the voice of reason?

Dear JC,
Your pain is my pain. Come to me or I'll come to your doorstep and sit there for three weeks with no pants on.

From dmeah: Dear Uncle Millard,
how about how do you pay a thousand dollars with of bills with only 500 dollars?

Dear dmeah
Does your local library have a xerox machine?

From curlyben's wife: Dear millie,
how do i drain a ear? Would you like the contents its a very full ear i have and you are more than welcome to it.
me xxx

Dear curlyben's wife,
Why thank you. I was feeling a little peckish.

 

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FLOGO from a flake between all the other flakes in snow-land!  have a great year - and drive

carefully, lol!" pilvikki. 

"Florence, my very best wishes on this special day. I hope the following year is a happy and healthy one for you, and that you continue to entertain all of us on AIH with your thoughts, comments and questions."  Snowdemon

'Lo, Flo':

"Tho' we've never met in person, (I wonder just how many members of A-I-H actually HAVE met each other in person?) I feel I've come to know, or recognize you, as one of the pioneers. I can't tell you what a good example you set, not only for the younger women here, but also for some of us older guys, as well. Not only with lessons in how to fit into frilly summer frocks, (when SOME of us find we've put on a few more pounds than we originally had planned on, over the Winter) but also, lessons led by example. With this, your 80th Birthday, you've set the path, led the way, and shown how being a leader consists of no more than getting up in the morning, checking your A-Mail, and continuing on with your life, on with your day, and on with setting good examples for others who may need it. Some of us fight; struggle thru life, and wonder why, whereas you show it's just a matter of making your mind to live life to its fullest, and doing it. Maybe it came from living in Mojave. The High Desert is a rugged, but beautiful place to live. Maybe it's from living in Oildale, one of Bakersfields "quieter and gentler" neighborhoods. Maybe its just you, living your life because it just needs to be lived. Whatever the reason, being one of us, at Ask-It-Here, has added to all of our lives, measurably.
Thank you for just being Flo' on the Go!"  Persh (aka Mark, at the upper end of the Central Valley).

 

"Throughout life, we are granted blessings that lift us up & get us through the downs.Sometimes we do not recognize the blessing or the true effect they have in our lives.Often,the blessing is a person who finds a permanent place in our hearts.
Today, I speak of one such blessing that I have had the pleasure of knowing. Her name is Florence (Flogo). She's been a friend for about 1 1/2 yrs. I remember when first I sat with her, among other friends, just chatting & passing the time.I was impressed by her wisdom and sense of humor. It wasn't long before I got to know her straightforward, loving personality. I quickly understood why she is so loved by neighbors and friends. she is one of the greatest people I know & a friend everyone dreams of having. All who meet her are truly blessed.Her smile alone could light up a room faster than any bulb. Hopefully, we will all think of the blessings that we have in our lives and appreciate them more today. Life would be quite sour without them. So, it's with great fanfare (TA_DA!!! drum roll) that I wish Flo the happiest Birthday ever & send 80 hugs & kisses. (Got any "Thongs" hidden away, Flo? Bring them out and CELEBRATE!!!! Doin' the "Hoochie-Koochie." :D :D ) Love ya,"  Wendy (Ann)

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