Volume 2, Number 7, February 12, 2002 
  
  
  
From The Editor: 
Welcome to The Arrow's first annual Valentine's Day issue! Throughout this week's newsletter you will see messages
from our members to other members. The messages are highligted in red. Some are anonymous and others are signed. Happy V-Day to all....:) Will you join me in welcoming a new contributing member to The Arrow - SamHill has kindly agreed to the write Useful Freebie! Welcome SamHill and thank you! :)

The Arrow still has a position open for someone to write a column called "Now Why Didn't I Think Of That?" which is on the same lines as AIH Tips And Tricks but addresses common computer problems and fixes; also The Arrow would like to publish a weekly opinion article from various members who have a strong opinion about something going on in the world right now - could that be you?

 

Love Potion # 9

 Ingredients 

9 oz. sweet red wine 
9 basil leaves 
9 red rose petals 
9 cloves 
9 apple seeds 
9 drops vanilla extract 
9 drops strawberry juice 
1 ginseng root, cut into 9 equal pieces

By the light of 9 pink votive candles, put these nine ingredients into a cauldron on the ninth hour of the ninth day of the ninth month of the year. Stir the potion nine times with a wooden spoon, each time reciting the following magical incantation: 

LET THE ONE WHO DRINKS THIS WINE
SHOWER ME WITH LOVE DIVINE.
SWEET LOVE POTION NUMBER NINE
MAKE HIS/HER LOVE FOREVER MINE.

Bring the mixture to a boil and then reduce the heat and let it simmer for nine minutes. Remove the cauldron from the heat and allow the potion to cool off. Blow nine times upon the potion, bless it in the names of the nine love-goddesses, and then strain it through a cheesecloth into a clean container. Cover and refrigerate it untill you are ready to serve it to the man or woman from whom you desire love and affection. (DO NOT ALLOW ANYONE OTHER THAN YOUR BELOVED TO LOOK AT, TOUCH, OR DRINK THE LOVE POTION!) A word of warning: This potion is extremely potent and should be used with caution. Its results can be very intense, long-lasting, and often difficult to control or reverse. So please be absolutely sure before you give it to an intended lover that he or she is the right one for you, and vice versa.  
  
  
 

"My heart belongs to MDKilmer, and anyone else who will give me Krispy Kreme doughnuts!" 
...Anon
 

Although Alixx has thrown me out in a dramatic and horrible fashion I still remember when we first met. She was so passionate, so funny, and so drunk. When I was with her I felt as though I was a better man. I considered getting treatment for all my troubles. I considered bathing daily. And now that she's gone I am a hollow shell. She is always and forever my angel, my darling, my Alixx.
Please tell her I love her.
-Millie

 
 
 
    Question Of The Week:
    This week's QOTW was asked by Silverback! 200 A-Bucks will be sent to you, silverback and to Colleen who
    submitted the entry. Thanks to the kindness of an anonymous donor, everyone who submits a suggestion for
    QOTW and the question askers will receive a little something extra in the bank accounts. This week, those members 
    are:
    AngelSong and Sue;
    zooz and Imbizzee;
    mdkilmer;
    Elizabeth's_Mom and Cyrysoval

  
   The Question: 

Obesity A Disease ? by Silverback

Do you think that obesity is a disease? Why or why not?

I do not see it as a disease. I mean no one is forcing anyone to eat that much. I know someone is going to
say that it is a gladular problem.

Well if that is the case, why are there not more obese people in third world countries? Or poorer nations
then the U.S.? I happened to think that those of us who are fat just happen to eat a lot, sit on our
butts, and want to wish the pounds away.

I think when we start calling it a disease we are trying to say that "no we are not weak and it is not
our fault".

Sorry if you are a fat person you are a fat person because you eat a lot and do not exercise enough.

That is like me saying because I weight 250 pounds I am like this because it is in my DNA. No it's not. The
fact that I do not exercise as much as I should and eat whatever the hell I feel like is the problem.

Thoughts?
    http://www.ask-it-here.com/viewQuestion.asp?qID=739&bID=313

 
 


  "Dear Arrow Cush, I had to write in to say every time I read evilai talk about his weekly beatings I have thoughts that make me blush." ....Anon

"To: All the AIH Survivors: Phantom Image, shariama, queenceline, Psykomom, Keli, Drastic Dreamer, Kickaha, MuskySFog, Doctor X, Kanthume, Apollo, Insomniduck, DaisyDewbs, Silverback, Damsel, and Award
You've been a great group despite my busy schedule and the slow moving game. Thanks. Have a greaT Feb. 14."
**MO**
 
"Millard may have set my house on fire, and refused to reimburse me for tortoise food, but thereís just something about himÖsigh!"
...Anon
 
 
 
The Meaning of Flowers On Valentine's Day

Bleeding Heart - Hopeless, but not heartless.

Gardenia - I love you secretly.

Gladiolus - You pierce my heart.

Lily-of-the-Valley - Let us make up.

Red Rose - I love you passionately.

White Rose - reverence, humility, innocence & purity

Yellow Rose - celebrates life and joy

Coral Rose - enthusiasm and desire

Pink Rose - Grace and gentility

Sweet William - You are gallant, suave and perfect.

Violet - I return your love.

Green leaves represented hope in a love affair. (Often rumored to be the reason why British girls sprinkled bay leaves  with rose water and put them on their pillows on Valentine's Day Eve. They wanted to see their loved one in their dreams.)

 


"I am a shy young man and writing this is a little embarrassing but well, you canít bottle up love, a crush, can you? Well since I have join AIH, I have met many interesting peopleÖ well, to make it true, I have seen many interesting people, I am shy and fearful of rejection, afraid of getting knocked off the joyride so I have decided to take the back seat in this game. Today I read the newsletter of AIH, the Arrow, and saw they were doing a crush segment for the Valentineís Day issue. At first I nervously joked around with myself about sending in a letter about my crush to AIH but I pulled back like I always do when doing something like that, I have a fear of opening up or getting my feelings hurt. I just walked off and thought I would just forget about it but instead it became a festering sore in my head and I was drawn back to the e-mail. Reading it over and over thinking how crazy it would be to actually do it, get something thatís been on my chest for quite a while. Finally I mustered up enough courage to actually grab it off my chest and throw it to the world. I have a secret crush on Sandra, formally Sandra4564. I donít know what makes me like her so, I donít know, but I think if we could really hit it off or we could be really good friends. She seems to be very interesting and sheís my age so well, we will see how it works out."

Mr. Nice Guy (Anonymous)

"Free Lunch, Iím not saying youíre bigger than Jesus, Iím just saying"
...Anon
 
 

AIH Tips&Tricks:
Your new Avatar is in your Locker. Huh? What Locker? When you purchase an avatar it is automatically placed in your
Locker which can be found on your Edit Profile page. Scroll to the bottom of that page to see a drop-down menu headed,
"You have the following Avatars in your locker to choose from:" You'll find all your purchased avatars there.
The only way you can get images of your own to show on your Profile is to have that image stored somewhere online.
The problem is that free sites like angelfire, tripod, geocities, etc. will not allow you to link so they won't work. One site
which does work however is MSN Photo Albums. The only drawback with this service is that any images you upload are
automatically compressed so a lot of time the pic will appear 'grainy'.
 
 
Wishing a big red Valentine for
All my fellow AIHers and much
Love and Happiness on this
Warm and Wonderful day!
Hugs to all from Flogo.
 
 
"I'm sending this valentine message for all the users on AIH. You have teached me to read and give a opinion before complaining for the prejudices several people has.
Upon communication we have developed a group like this, so don't block yourself to hear what others have to say, maybe with communication all of us can grow and be better friends.
So, In the hope of getting closer together because of the motivation of linking here, asking and answering all sorts of questions, I wish this valentine may be the beggining point of a warmer, more united community for all of us users."
Yours, Juan Josť, Ocelotl.
 
 
"Mike, I'm so glad we finally put two and two together. I can't wait to meet you next month - this holiday will be a once in a lifetime experience. You brighten my life."  Derd
 
 

Newbie News:
Every once in awhile The Arrow will feature a few of our newer members as a way of further welcoming them
to AIH as well as introducing them to our readers. This week We'd like to introduce you to Chrysoval and Bermbits.
 
 
1) How did you learn about AIH?
Chrysoval: I received an e-mail from mdkilmer telling me about the site. I had known md on WHQuestion, so I guess it's a natural follow on to come here after WH closed.
bermbits: I stumbled across the name of the AIH site when it was referred to in a post on Abuzz, where I spent most of my time. I tried it, and here I am.

2)
Is AIH your first virtual community?
Chrysoval: No, I have lived for many years on Mucks, particularly Delusions and before that QWest.
bermbits:  Based on my answer to #1, no; this is my second.

3) Have you found the members friendly and helpful?
Chrysoval: Like most virtual communities, the vast majority of the people are friendly, but some are not so friendly... or moreover they are prickly and take some getting used to.
bermbits: While some members on Abuzz were friendly, many were not. There was sniping and identity stealing, etc. It was not as much fun as it was when I first went there. When I got to AIH, there was a whole different feel to it. Not only were people friendly and helpful, they were generous. So far, a wonderful bunch of people.
Like most virtual communities, the vast majority of the people are friendly, but some are not so friendly... or moreover they are prickly and take some getting used to.

4) What country are you from?
Chrysoval: US (Carolinas).
bermbits:  America - New Hampshire

5)
What is one thing about the site that you'd really like to know?
Chrysoval: Nothing, really... I've been discovering stuff about AIH as I go. I learn something new every once in a while now (as opposed to every day).
bermbits: At his point, I am comfortable enough to say I pretty much know almost everything I need to (and if I have a question, I'll ask and get the answer).


  
 
 
 
"Dearest Travis (Apollo),
I love you. I realized it even more today as I saw others' love fail and prosper around me.
As I sat in class today I was thinking of only you, and how great our lives will be in the future.
I can hardly wait to be in your arms. I never want to loose you.
Be mine forever, and I will be yours."
Love,
Tara (DaisyDewbs)
 
 
To: GreyEyes
Thanks for putting together the newsletter for the best site on the net.
Anon


 

The Meaning Of ĎLove"
 
By AngelSong
 
Erich Segal wrote, in "Love Story", "Love means never having to say you're sorry." While that was a nice sentiment in the context of the book and movie, I disagree. It takes maturity to admit your mistakes, apologize for them when it is possible and appropriate to do so, and to make amends.
 
Having said that, I will note that "love" has become "big business" on Valentine's day, with much emphasis being placed on "romance". There is nothing wrong with romance. . . I'm all for it, myself. But there are other kinds, other forms of love.
 
Think about the love a mother and father have for their children. The kind of love which is unconditional, unselfish, and ever-constant. This love helps children and families grow and to be able to reach their fullest potential.
 
The love brothers and sisters are sometimes fortunate enough to share can overcome rivalry or jealousy and lead to new respect for those who "know" you best of all; they have seen your warts...when your hair is down, your clothes grungy, and your face is dirty. And they love you anyway.
 
Consider the love a friend has for a friend. The willingness to "be there" in times of joy -- and in times of sorrow...to share whatever is going on in your lives. That is very special. In today's world, it is not always easy to form those close connections with others. They take nurturing, and thoughtful effort at times to maintain.
 
Love is not always a "fifty-fifty" proposition . . . but the investment of time, energy, commitment, and caring ususally yields valuable rewards.
 
Love is a renewable resource. The more it is shared, the more there is to share.
 
On this Valentine's Day, look around at all of the people in your life whom you love and who love you. Take a moment to get in touch, and let them know how important they are in your life. You will be richer for it, because your heart will glow.
 
Thank you all for sharing huggles with me, and for allowing me to share with you.
 
Blessings,
 
~~AngelSong~~
 
**This Thursday, it might be a nice idea to send reverse Huggles to AngelSong who happens to have been
      born on Valentine's Day ...;)
                          --ed **              
 
 
 
 
The Target:
This week's Targets are rainman253 and Drastic_Dreamer! rainman can be found a head above the others, so to speak
in Grey's North Country. When he's not on AIH the first place you should look for him is Nakednews.com (as the name implies, it's news reported by naked people so if you find the concept objectionable, don't go) but we're pretty
sure he keeps his eyes closed. Drastic_Dreamer has been working on her tan in Sunny Shores lately. If you hear a sweet
voice drifting in from the beach, you can be sure thats DD preparing her voice for her up and coming singing career.
  
 
Drastic_Dreamer
1.What is the one thing you do better than anyone else you know?
Sing and draw.

2. What was the happiest moment in your life?
When I met my favorite musician. Some of you know who it is. :o) And when I met a very special friend about a year ago.

3. What is your ultimate job, and what is the worst job you've ever done?
My ultimate job? This could take up a lot of room... hehe. I wish to become a famous singer/songwriter. I want to be respected for the music I make, not for anything else. I want to influence peoples lives in the most positive way possible, all through my music. I wish to have a long, happy career.

4. What accomplishment in your life are you the most proud of?
I need more time to answer this one. I'm really not that proud of anything I've done so far. Give me time though.

5. Do you have a 'most embarrassing moment'?
At the mall one time, I was in the food court getting ready to sit down at a table with my food and drink. As I was sitting down, the shopping bags in my hand shifted and I dropped my drink. The thing is, the table was up agaist railing that was two floors above an ice-skating rink. Let's just say the ice-skaters got rained on...

6. What's your specialty in the kitchen?
Boiling water. LOL! Or Kraft Mac & Cheese. Please, please... no award.

7. What is you motto?
Chew or you'll choke. I just made that up.

8. Do you know your next-door neighbours' names?
I know most of them, even though I hate them all. Screw "Love thy neighbor".

9. What is the most important thing you've learned so far?
That most people on this planet are still primal animals even though they don't look like monkeys anymore. Anyone wanna block me yet?

10. What's the last non-fiction book you read?
Parts of the dictionary...

11. Name a random act of kindness you did for someone (that they never found out about).
I really can't think of anything. Am I the first person to put that? LOL! I've done plenty of things people do know about though. Not because I wanted to gloat about it.

12. Your favorite sport: Would you rather A..) Play it. B.) Watch it on TV. C.) Be a spectator with great seats.
C.) Be a spectator

13. A man has just been rescued after 30 years on a deserted island where he has had absolutely no contact with the outside world. You can tell him one thing. What would you tell him?
Tell him he should go back to the island for the same reason he went in the first place: People are still as stupid as they were when he first left.


14. Happiness is-------------.
Something anyone can achieve, if they try hard enough. I've had a lot of downers in here. I thought an upper would be good. ;oP

15. Do you have any hidden talents?
Not really. Unless tying a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue counts? Or all the weird ways I can bend.

16. Describe your ideal vacation.
Me and someone really close to me getting deserted on a tropical island, with all the things we want there. Or, going to Egypt and being able to enter all the ancient pyramids, tunnels or secret chambers I want.

17. What kind of museums do you like?
All of them. Learning is awesome. I can't get enough of it. :o)

18. What is it you would still like to accomplish in life?
Everything! I'm young. I want to do it all, see it all, experience it all. I have tons of plans for my life.

19. What is your favourite part of AIH? Your least favourite part?
My favorite part is definitely communicating with different types of people from around the world. Where else can you sit on your butt and meet people from everywhere? The only thing I dislike about AIH is not the site itself. It's some of the immature things that happen there. But, for the most part, everyone is awesome.

20. What would you like to see included in The Arrow?
I think it's pretty awesome as it is. :o)

Now, if you're still bothering to read this (And still not wanting to block me), I congratulate you for being able to get through all of my babbling. There's still one thing you should know about me though. And here it is: I'm the most awesome person on this planet! No, I'm not full of myself. The voices in my head are the ones who told me. And there's no denying them. ;o)

The Losers

by Drastic_Dreamer

Don't you cry if you're alone
Because most of us losers are!
We're all stuck at home
Making wishes for love on a fading distant star.

Alas, don't you fret!
We're not the ones wasting our money on a stuffy holiday!
Let's just watch the lovers fall head over heels right into debt!
Holiday-schmoliday!
All the lone souls have nothing to regret!

Valentines Day is a day for the bold!
We don't need chalky candy hearts!
We can make it on our own!
We don't need corny cards!
We've made it this far!

Congratulate yourself, losers!
We beat this stupid, huggy, lovey, calorie filled, discriminating, holiday!
Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray!

  
  
 

"There are 2 very special women I met on this site shortly after I arrived. They've both got lots of soul and hearts as big as the Grand Canyon and they brighten every one of my days with their love, caring and humor. And so my special Valentine's Day wishes go to them and they know exactly who they are - the TUT." Love you lots, Sue
 
 

rainman253
 
Hi there. My name is Jeremy. I am a 27 yr. old Network Engineer living near Atlanta, GA USA. I devote most of my spare time to my computer and my wife. Some of my favorite sites to visit are Lockergnome.com and The Onion . I have been married since the summer of 1998 and have no kids. I hold a BA in Mass Communications from the State University of West Georgia and I currently hold an MCSE NT4.0 Certification. I have been working in the IT field for 4 years and plan to make a career out of it in some way or another. Currently, I work for a national company specializing in RF (wireless) laptops for middle and high school students. See their web site here. I hope to be running a networking/MCSP (Microsoft Certified Solutions Provider) firm with my wife in a few short years.

You'll catch me lurking in the Computing category most of the time. If I can help you with your problem, I will. If your question has been answered 10 times with a probable fix, I won't.

Here's my rating system: Answer my question - ***        Offend me or someone else - *

 
I'm 6 foot 8 inches tall, and I wouldn't trade being tall for anything. I enjoy looking down upon the puny masses and making fun of the tops of their heads. Besides messing with computers all day, I also enjoy assembling plastic models, experimenting with HTML (see my homepage), watching baseball (Go Braves), watching football (Go Dawgs!), and doing odd jobs around the house.
Mustard is my favorite flavor.
 
If I could do one thing over again, I would do better in school. I am an intelligent individual, but I am easily distracted. I partied through college and barely got out in the 4 years most people usually spend there. As a wise man once said, "College, 7 years down the tubes."
 
 
To: Dilbert
Hiya Dilbert! This isn't a crush... lol... I just wanted to say Happy February 14th since I am boycotting you-know-what day. Bye!
**MO** 
 
 
 
 Great Quotes?  Who uttered this week's Great Quote? Answer at the bottom of this newsletter. 
"Yo' I'm hip! Far out and Groovy! My main man! wanna' toke? Got some spare change? I'm low on bread. Need to feed my head! Right-on right-on!
Catch ya' later, jive turkey! I gotta' split! Outa sight man!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 
To: The Phantom
"Hiya Ido, Just wanted to say thanks for talking... And putting up with an annoying little user. :) Habby Feb. 14..."
**MO** 
 
 
"Rachel, my lovely. The thought of you, the thought of meeting you, fills my world. Think kindly of me, 'till we meet in March." Michael.
 
 
 
Useful Freebie by SamHill:
Ah, love: the ultimate freebie. Ya know, the web might bring the world closer together but love still makes it go 'round. Give your PC a little heart with a Valentine's Day screensaver or wallpaper from Sympatico.
And if you're like me and can't get enough of a good free thing, click on over to Lycos and browse their Valentine's screensaver collection. To get a handle on all your downloads take a look at Star Downloader. It's a highly - rated download manager and accelerator with resume and schedule support. It integrates with your antivirus program to scan your new downloads and will even unzip and install compressed files for you. How cool is that? I think I'm in love. Happy Valentine's Day!
Sam
 
 
 
  "Angelgirl, thank you for being the wonderful woman you are to me. I
love you. Will you be my Valentine?"
Anyman
 
"evilai, what can I say? Please be my valentine and bring your gun!"
...Anon
 
"I love Prince O Pull, even if I am newly married!" 
...Anon

 
 
 
Special Giftings for Special Valentines
(For longtime Valentines or first time Valentines)

Alphabet Gifts - This is a dedicated gifting between two people. You can give it every week (for half a year) or every two weeks (for a year). If you are on a budget agree to keep gifts to under $5 or $10. Or agree to hand make them.... Each of you
give a gift to the other within the week or 2 week period. The first gift you give begins with an A. The following gift
begins with a B. This follows throughout the alphabet. It gets interesting among some letters.... But fun too. It sometimes
takes a lot of thinking about the other person as well... Be imaginative and creative.

Send a Love Letter in the mail, stamp and all... . Write a letter to your special one and post it. You need not worry too much about MAKING it special.... Just the fact that it came from you will make it special. It is always fun to unexpectedly find a letter like this in the mail. If you are not sure about what to say in a special letter like this.... use the persons name. Make statements about what you like about the person. One sentence for each letter of the name. Each sentence begins with a letter of the
person's name.... List them, so that when you look at the first letter of each sentence down the line vertically it spells their name. Be sure to sign the letter. Or make it obvious that it is you that sent it....

A Special Card - Hand make a card and leave it with a flower where it will be found by your special one. You can draw and
paint it. Or cut pictures up and paste an image together. Offer something in it like a back massage or a special home made
dinner. Or an adventure outing where you spend time together. Or... for a really special one... make it for a special date under covers... .

A Surprise Date - sometimes called a kidnaping date - make sure it is with someone who wants to be swept away by you.... Unexpectedly or... planned.... arrive (with blindfold) and tell your special one that you have a surprise for them... but they
have to put on a blindfold... Then take them some place. Lead them and take care of them. You can feed them. Or give them a massage... or take them to a special event before you remove the blindfold. Take care of everything that is needed for the date and plan out
what you are going to do before you arrive. Make sure it is with someone who wants to be taken away by you.

Mystery and surprise are always exciting if they are pleasant. Have fun.
Happy Valentines Day. Anon
 
 
 
god,
"Heaven's your home
It's such a long way
 I'll be there someday
If I have my say
And all I need
Is another 300 K!"
...Anon
 
 

  Ask Uncle Millard: 
 *Because I just want to help the world to be full of sunshine and rainbows for everyone*.

Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel asks,
"Milurd, ah scraped an ol' possum off mah pickup's back tahre. Whut's the best way to make this morsel ready fer eatin'?" - Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel

Dear Mr Slack-Jawed Yokel,
Take a quart of moonshine and empty it into a rusty oil drum that's been sat in your back yard for the last six months. Throw in the possum, six rotten apples, some fuel-line antifreeze, at least one of your children and an old boot. Put something heavy on top and leave to marinade for forty-eight hours. Then build a small bonfire, put the oil drum on top and simmer for forty-five minutes. Add a small parsley garnish, and enjoy.



Mc Magic Cracker asks, "My girlfriend's father is a Yale graduated Harvard educated hardass Beverly Hills litigator lawyer who parents his girls as if he were a lawyer as opposed to a father. I've heard from my girl that he barely said anything to her previous boyfriend who stayed with them for many weeks, despite his attempts at being social. How should I act toward/in matters involving him when I meet him (and stay in his house for a week)?" - Mc Magic Cracker

Dear Mr Cracker,
This is an understandable reaction. Her father will no doubt be fearing the loss of his little girl, and seeing you and your sexual relationship with her as a threat to his authority. The best way to solve this difficult situation is to show you do not mean to come between them. Invite him to become involved in your lovemaking sessions. Suggest that he act as her "pimp", guarding the door to her room as you approach and charging you twenty dollars for the privilege of entering. He could then monitor the time of each session and burst in demanding extra cash should you overrun.
I think you'll find that making an effort to include him in this way will soon break the ice in your relationship.



MH asks, "My pet rhino Wayne has been using me as a hacky sack for the last few days. The first day I didn't mind because I forgot to feed him for, oh, 9 days, but now, it's beginning to wear thin.
I've tried asking him to stop. I ordered him to stop. I even begged for him to stop. But no dice. It's taken me 15 minutes just to type this because he keeps kicking me across the room.
What should do?" - MH

Dear MH,
It sounds like it might be time for you to reconsider your choice of pet. You only have so many bones in your body and it can only be a matter of time before Wayne breaks the last few that remain intact. I have taken the liberty of fed-exing you a worm farm and a sea anenome called Wilgefortis, which I think will be much more suited to you. As for Wayne, I suggest you take him up to your local riding stable in the middle of the night and sneak him into an empty stall. They'll never notice.




Dear Charlie on the MTA asks, "Dear Uncle Millard, I want to swap my 3 1/2 inch floppy drive for a hard disc, but these days I can only get a half-high one - full size is nowhere to be found. What should I do?"

Dear Charlie on the MTA,
Have you looked on www.computergeeks.com ? I bought a new pc and 17 weasels from there last week.
I had to return the pc as the electricity is dodgy in my basement apartment and the weasels don't do well
when they're subterrenian.

 

Angeluk666 asks, "Dear Uncle Millie,
As I need as much money as possible, since I blew most of mine on my avatar. I'll share my problem with you.
I met my husband on www.naked-gay-shemales-on-coke.com, a very fine site as you well know. The problem is that I've never actually met him (we were one of the first to be married online) but I think that he is cheating on me
with an 18 year old she-male from canada that he met on line. What should I do? Should I file for divorce or should I just accept this 'relationship' and hope that it fades out. I don't want to lose him."

Dear Angeluk666,
I am sorry to hear of your woes. I know we've discussed this before in private. But I do think you need to examine this from his view. He's got you now in his house, washing his pantyhose and cooking meals. You've become comfortable and dull. The internet has made affairs so much more fun and exciting. Either you can divorce him, or you can try and win him back.
Have you considered getting a webcam and starting your own site? Otherwise I think you're doomed and it's all your fault.



GreyEyes asks, "Uncle Millard, how can I make this Valentine's Day extra special for my honey?"

Dear GreyEyes,
I cannot in good conscious answer this. I am far too jealous of your honey. And all the other condiments
as well. Any condiment that gets to spend Valentines Day with you will feel special.



On another note, Happy Valentines Day. I love you all.

*By everyone I mean GreyEyes, and by rainbows and sunshine I mean a french maid's costume and a webcam.



 

Dear GreyEyes,
I have a few crushes I'd like to announce.

First off my turtle, Persephone, is still in love with Amy's iguana, Caicos. She is beside herself with agony, just sits under the bathroom sink chewing on my socks.

And I've been having a slight crush I hesitate to admit. More out of fear for my safety than out of fear of rejection. I am a straight man, not that there's anything wrong with being gay, but I have no idea why I keep fantasizing of Evilai. Specifically his left buttock.

I still dream of you in your cocktail waitresses outfit, my dearest GreyEyes. Is that a crush or a fond memory of the best $400 rear I've ever seen?

I am full of love and bourbon as I write this.
Always,
Millard
 
 
  "Dilbert, you are the main photo in my shop of love. Out of a possible 6, you rate a definite 6.0!"
...Anon
 
 

                                                          See you next week. Sincerely, The Editorial Staff of AIH's The Arrow.
 

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                                                                                RunAmuck uttered this week's Great Quote!